Cap
Hey,my name is Chris,
I'm from NY, I have been in prison since I was 22years old (the actual crime occurred when I was 20-years old) and I am 20 years into serving a LIFE sentence in Federal Prison. I came into my situation as both a victim of my environment and choice.I choose to acknowledge "choice" because there has been several positive role-models in my life who tried to guide me and show me that there is a alternative life from the life I was living, and for quite some time while I was home I did well both worlds.
Being away from my family, particularly my children, has been the most difficult part of my incarceration. In my eyes,I feel like a complete failure as dad because of some of the bad choices I have made that affected many lives. Having grown up myself w/o a father was something that I had become use too. Like many from ppl from urban communities I was raised primarily by my single mom along with my older siblings. She did the best that she could trying to sustain a household with 6 children (5 boys and 1 girl). It wasn't until later on in life that I realized that not having a father in my life did have an affect of me. It was because of his absence that I NEVER wanted to put my own children through the same situation. But due to my choices in life, I actually did just that.
Even though I'm present as much as I can be in my children's lives via phone, letter, and visits, not being there for their maturation and milestones has been very difficult for all of us. One of my greatest fears is that my children would one day resent me for my terrible choices. Or they would lose respect for me because I haven't been out there with them to help. So far,that hasn't happened. It has been a blessing that even though I have been physically absent from their lives, they have allowed me to still be their dad by coming to me for advice often and inviting me input when making some of their most important decisions.
There is a plethora of gripes that I have with the federal System and the judicial system. They both have some serious systemic issues that need to be addressed but that's a conversation for another time. Right now,I want to tell you'll about one of my greatest regrets..abandoning my baby girls.
Chris Moore #68777-053 USP-Pollock P.O.Box 2099 Pollock,LA 71467
